What kind of dumb ass man do you call yourself? Umm, you can’t even call yourself a real man with a stupid looking dick like that! Real men have actual dicks and you are certainly much less than a real man! I  have plenty of real men in my life and none of them have dicks that look like yours Benjamin! Wow, I don’t even have words to describe how dumb you are! You are such a time waster if I ever saw one! You need to get a life and realize you don’t deserve such attention from anyone, not even me who is wasting my time writing this ridiculous review for your sad and lonely dick! All I   want to do is laugh at this dick and make complete fun of how dumb it is. You can’t even get your dick up so how do you expect to give any amount of pleasure to a woman when she expects your dick to work? That useless dick won’t get you anywhere in the world of women. All it will get you is sitting there with your pants down as a woman laughs and runs out the door to find her a real man to fuck! A real man with a giant cock, not like your teensy baby dick! It’s barely big enough to be considered a dick at all! I   think it should be considered a tiny little thumb. Maybe your tiny dick would be a great dick to put in someone’s ass since it is so small and only worthy of that hole anyway. Your dick is so useless that it’s not even worthy to be anywhere near a pussy! Your unworthy dick deserves to be tucked away in your pants and never touched and never allowed to have an orgasm! You deserve to be stuck in a corner by yourself watching a hot woman fuck a real man’s cock showing you how a real man’s cock pleases her….letting you see something that you will never, ever experience for yourself and your worthless dick! Can you imagine watching her lick and suck all up that huge cock and hear all the slurping sounds that you wish your dick could experience? Oh, the torture for you would be unending! Then getting to watch her be turned over and fucked hard and fast from behind with that giant cock, hearing her groan and make all those sexy sounds that you are not making her do! Knowing his giant cock is hitting her in all the right places and realizing your sad little dick will never be big enough to even fit into her pussy, not to mention get in as deep as that giant cock. can! How sad you would be staring at what your life will never entail! Poor, poor loser, dumb ass man! I   bet your sad little dick is trying to get hard just thinking about watching that and it can’t even get hard when you’re alone either! Good luck finding someone to love your little dick, loser!

kendra

How on earth do you even call your member a dick hun? It is the most pathetic thing I have looked at in a very long time! You are the most unworthy man on the planet with a dick like that. If you can even call yourself a man! Your dick is so small that it seems like all you have is a little woman’s clitty to play with! Maybe you’re actually supposed to be a woman, but your development went wrong! How sad are you and any woman that comes across your path? VERY sad, that’s the truth! Every woman would be going home crying after trying to fuck you because your dick is so pathetically small and like a tiny carrot in your pants! You should go see if a horse would like to eat your dick since it looks like a horse’s favorite food! Hahaha! How hilarious is that! What you need is the tiniest cage to lock your dick away in so you can never experience cumming ever again! And not even being able to keep it up is the saddest thing I   have ever heard! What good is that to any woman? Nothing! Nothing is what you are and you should spare yourself the misery of being laughed at by curling up in a little ball all alone in your house and never set foot into the world again! You are destined to a life of misery and loneliness with a worthless dick like yours to try and offer a woman. No wonder you are single! Any woman would take one little peek at your tiny dick and say forget it because she would know it is useless and will not provide her with any pleasure whatsoever! She would be better off playing with her big dildo than to try and get your dick to work for her! How do you like knowing a dildo can do a better job than your dick? Does that make you sad? I   hope so because sadness is what you deserve, you lousy small dick man! I’m just going to sit here and stare at your lousy dick and laugh my ass off because it is so sad and pathetic! Better yet, I  will bring all my friends over and we can all have the best laugh of our life thinking about you wishing you had any chance at all with a goddess like us, when in reality you don’t! You have no chance with any hot woman ever wanting to love you or your dick because it is just too pathetic for words! You are probably a complete pathetic loser yourself because any man with a dick like that would fall into a loser category. Aww, does that make you feel so sad? Good! I   love knowing you are a sad loser on the other end of this email train while I’m a hot goddess getting all the alpha dicks that I want every single day. All those big dicks please my pussy unlike you ever would! Have fun jerking off to porn for the rest of your life Ben!

Awww Ben, what a cute little shrimp dick you have, sweetie! It’s no secret that you my friend are single, you didn’t have to update that box. Good luck trying to get anywhere in the world of women with a pathetic dick like that! It is pretty much worthless in the eyes of any woman that I know. No woman wants such a small dick because you’re right, it doesn’t work and won’t even go into her pussy correctly because it’s so small! Poor beta dick that will never get any attention that it wants. You’re going to be stuck alone wacking off and trying to get yourself to cum because no woman will ever get near a tic tac dick like that! Can you even cum with a pathetic loser dick like that? I bet your load of cum is barely a blob! How you can expect to even call it a dick? It’s more like a tiny little shrimp in your pants and do you know where it belongs? You guessed it, it belongs in a cage where it can most definitely not get any attention because it does not deserve any attention with how much of a loser dick it is! And wow, you can’t even get it up when you try having sex anyway? That is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard! That is most definitely not a dick I want and I would want nothing more than to make you hide away with that shrimp dick and never be seen again! You are such a laughing stock and a disgrace to the male species with a dick like that and you should be ashamed of even sending a picture to get a review. Your dick is such a waste of time and does not even deserve the time I’m taking writing about how pathetic you are! You should be ashamed of yourself for even asking for this review, especially when you know the answer is going to be such a humiliation for you, you pathetic loser! Just look at how short your dick is! It could not please a woman’s pussy by any means with being that short! It would feel like nothing going into a pussy, that is if you could even get it up! And plus, it’s such a skinny little thing that she would be asking if it was in yet or not! Real women want big dicks that fill up their pussy, not little shrimpy dicks like yours that do nothing for them! That tiny little head is so pathetic that it could not even plough into a pussy if it tried! You would be better off never showing your dick to anyone so you won’t have to be embarrassed at what a loser you and your dick are! Maybe we should enter you into the book of world records as the world’s smallest dick so you could at least have some satisfaction that your dick was good for something! Basically all your dick is good for is something for everyone to laugh at anyway! Get a life, you sad loser beta dick boy!

You can’t even get it up? What kind of useless man with a useless dick are you? Oh that’s right, you can’t even consider yourself a real man with a baby dick like that! You look like a little teenage boy with a tiny dick! And if you can’t even get hard how do you expect to be worth anything to a woman? Especially a sexy goddess like me! I  could not care less about you and your useless tiny dick! Maybe we can just call you baby dick boy! What you really need is to go to school to learn how to use a dick, but actually it would just be a waste of your time because even if you learned how to use it, you would still be a worthless man to any woman in your presence since your dick is so teeny tiny! With a dick that small, how do you even jerk your own self off? Can you even get hard when you are all alone trying to jerk off or is it so pathetic that it will not even get hard for you and your two fingers jerking it up and down? That is a very sad life for your dick! Never getting to see a real woman’s pussy! You might as well give up on the dating sites because any small glance at your teeny dick will send every woman in the other direction! Bye Felecia! No one will want to look at the likes of your teeny dick! Just look at how tiny that head is and the whole thing even looks flimsy like it would do no good at all! That head is like a tiny ugly mushroom that I kick out in the forest when I   see one! That’s what your dick deserves–a swift kick to the balls to let you know how worthless and undeserving you and your tiny dick are! Maybe you should go join a place where monks live because you know you are going to be celibate the rest of our life with a tiny dick like that! So what better way to serve than to be on your knees praying to God instead of torturing any woman you might date with your awful teeny dick? Hahahahaha! That is hilarious!! I   love thinking about all the ways my friends and I   could laugh at your tiny dick! I   would love to put you on display in front of them and we could all stare at your limp dick that can’t even get hard for us when we are so sexy and teasing you. Other real men can get hard in no time when we are around, but your useless dick will not even work for us sexy women, so we would be laughing our asses off at the pathetic loser that you are! What a pitiful life you will lead with a teeny dick like that. Have fun being alone forever because that is all you will ever be! Poor baby dick boy!

To say that you are a complete loser is the biggest understatement of the year! To have a dick that will not even work under the best circumstances is pathetic and sad and unworthy of any attention! You can wish all you want to, buddy, but you will never have the feeling of a pussy being wrapped around your sad little dick! Your dick is like a pig in a blanket appetizer on a plate, that’s how pathetic it is! I’m comparing you to a piece of pork, loser, so that should really tell you how pathetic you are! Hell, a pig in a blanket would be more useful than your pathetic dick! At least a pig in a blanket would give me some pleasure–a tasty treat in my mouth, unlike your loser dick that can’t even get hard enough to go into my mouth like a proper dick should! How can you even consider that you have a dick at all? If it can’t even get hard then how can it be a dick. It’s literally a flappy piece of useless skin dangling between your legs, begging for some love. But guess what? It is never going to get any love because it is just that-a floppy piece of skin that does not deserve a second glance! What we need to do it get a teeny tiny cage to lock that dick up in and since you are so unworthy, you can be my little slave that does anything I want! And I   get to keep you locked up for however long I   want to own you. And if you disobey or whine about anything I ask, then you get a longer sentence of being locked in the teeny cage! Oh, I could have lots of fun with a tiny dick man like you! Making you scrub all my floors, cook me dinner and massage me every day would be such a blessing and you would do it with a smile because you know that is the only attention you will ever get with a useless dick like yours! Bringing me breakfast in bed and letting me see your dick in that cage would give me so much pleasure! While you were getting no pleasure at all from being locked up and having to be at my beck and call any second of every day! But, my little friend, that is exactly the life you and your tiny useless dick deserve because that is all your dick is good for! A life of service to a goddess like me would actually be a privilege for you and your tiny useless dick! And if you are really lucky maybe I  would let your pathetic dick out of the cage once in a while so I   could slap it around and show it who is the boss! Bwahahaha! I   love being so evil to useless little dicks like yours! And you will simply have to bear it and be happy because that is all you deserve!

bella

What a lousy little peon you are and you think I have time to pay any attention to you and your lousy ass dick? Think again mother fucker! If you can’t even get your dick to get hard then why on earth would you even go near any woman ever again! I hope you have spared yourself the misery and embarrassment and have taken yourself off the dating market so you can let your dick shrivel up to even more than nothing than it is now! That dick is the most disgusting thing I have ever looked at and I   never want to see it again! How useless is a dick that can’t even perform when it’s supposed to? Pretty damn useless! You should be ashamed of yourself for having not only having a useless dick, but one that is so minutely small that you can barely even see it with a microscope! You have a micropenis and the funniest part about it is it does not even do the deed because it’s so lousy! Basically what you have in your pants is an extra toe that grew in the wrong place! LMAO! No one wants to play with a toe! Women want a big, hard dick that can pleasure them unlike any other! Do you think you will be able to do that? Nope, not at all with a small, unhard dick like yours! I  can’t believe it doesn’t even get hard when necessary! I bet it doesn’t even get hard when you watch porn or look at naughty pictures! It just wants to give you a life of being so alone. What did you do to your dick to make it hate you so much? Whatever it was, is totally worth it in my opinion though because I got to have a good laugh at it when I  opened those pictures! I know what I’m going to do with those pictures! I’m going to show everyone I meet those pictures so I   can allow everyone to have the best laugh of their life when they get to glance at the sad story of your sad little useless dick! I   love being able to provide humor to people and your useless dick is the perfect thing to do that with! Heck, I can even charge money to people to see it so they can laugh! I’ll be making all kinds of money off your useless dick while you are still sitting in the corner all alone, wacking off trying to get your dick hard, but failing miserably! What a sad story you are! But I don’t even feel bad for you because you probably did something to deserve a non working dick! You were probably completely stupid so God is punishing you by giving you a useless tiny dick! Now all you can expect, if you ever decide to try to date, is every girl seeing your dick and getting a good laugh out of it. Then she will run and tell all her friends to stay the fuck away from you and your useless dick!

4/5

mila